Friday, January 30, 2004
Yes I really DO live here
If you saw last nights The Apprentice, you should know that you were staring into my backyard.
I live in the heart of Times Square. Every landmark that you saw in that area I can see from my apartment. I have never lived in any place that has allowed me to see what’s going on outside by just turning on the television. When TRL is on, I can tell if it’s raining or snowing or how crowded the streets outside my apartment are just by watching MTV. It’s strange and wonderful all at the same time. (and for the record NOBODY who is ANYBODY eats at Planet Hollywood. Fucking terrible food and WAY overpriced)
As I saw the contestants on The Apprentice running around the TKTS booth and in and out of Planet Hollywood, I kept thinking, I can be there in five minutes. WEIRD.
Luckily for me, my apartment is on the inside portion of a high-rise. There is no noise in my place and no blinding lights. Conversely there’s no sunlight either. It’s kind of like living in a cave, only it’s a cave that smells like Chinese food. Thank you to John’s Shanghai restaurant for cooking soba noodles at 7am.
Kelly and I are making arrangements to move OUT of Times Square on March 1st. Our lease is up and it is time for us to move to an area of NYC that doesn’t cater to tourists. You can’t IMAGINE how annoying it is to have to weave your way through hundreds of people taking pictures. While I am glad that you are spending money in my city, I am a little too busy at this point to stop and organize a group photo op. And also, if one more person stops dead in their tracks to stare at the colorful billboards and tall buildings, thus causing me to collide into their backs, I will probably scream bloody fucking murder.
Yeah, it’s time to move out of Times Square.
It’s been a trip though. A 2 liter bottle of soda costs $3.52. The McDonalds across the street from my pad sells the two cheeseburger meal for $8.50. If you want a turkey sandwich from The Roxy deli, take out a small loan. They sell it for $24. And no, you don’t get fries with that.
I can’t wait for the day when I can walk to the laundry mat without having to barrel over small children and groups of Asians. I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to hear “Free comedy show tonight at 7 and 11!” Or “Jenna Jamison is showing off her cunt and tits during $50 lap dances at Flashdancer!” Or my favorite “35 t-shirts for $10!” Cuz who DOESN’T need 35 t-shirts that say “I heart NY”?
Kelly and I currently spend $900 EACH on our apartment. Two bedrooms for $1800 and it’s the size of a huge walk in closet. It’s not like we are going to spend less money on our apartment, but we definitely would like some more space and a more tolerable neighborhood. While it was cool to spend a year in the heart of the greatest city in the world, I think she and I are both itching to get the fuck out.
So next time you see a picture of Times Square, stop and think how cool it is that Joe lives there and how fortunate you are for not.
Have great weekends.
I’ll give Rita love from all of you.
If you saw last nights The Apprentice, you should know that you were staring into my backyard.
I live in the heart of Times Square. Every landmark that you saw in that area I can see from my apartment. I have never lived in any place that has allowed me to see what’s going on outside by just turning on the television. When TRL is on, I can tell if it’s raining or snowing or how crowded the streets outside my apartment are just by watching MTV. It’s strange and wonderful all at the same time. (and for the record NOBODY who is ANYBODY eats at Planet Hollywood. Fucking terrible food and WAY overpriced)
As I saw the contestants on The Apprentice running around the TKTS booth and in and out of Planet Hollywood, I kept thinking, I can be there in five minutes. WEIRD.
Luckily for me, my apartment is on the inside portion of a high-rise. There is no noise in my place and no blinding lights. Conversely there’s no sunlight either. It’s kind of like living in a cave, only it’s a cave that smells like Chinese food. Thank you to John’s Shanghai restaurant for cooking soba noodles at 7am.
Kelly and I are making arrangements to move OUT of Times Square on March 1st. Our lease is up and it is time for us to move to an area of NYC that doesn’t cater to tourists. You can’t IMAGINE how annoying it is to have to weave your way through hundreds of people taking pictures. While I am glad that you are spending money in my city, I am a little too busy at this point to stop and organize a group photo op. And also, if one more person stops dead in their tracks to stare at the colorful billboards and tall buildings, thus causing me to collide into their backs, I will probably scream bloody fucking murder.
Yeah, it’s time to move out of Times Square.
It’s been a trip though. A 2 liter bottle of soda costs $3.52. The McDonalds across the street from my pad sells the two cheeseburger meal for $8.50. If you want a turkey sandwich from The Roxy deli, take out a small loan. They sell it for $24. And no, you don’t get fries with that.
I can’t wait for the day when I can walk to the laundry mat without having to barrel over small children and groups of Asians. I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to hear “Free comedy show tonight at 7 and 11!” Or “Jenna Jamison is showing off her cunt and tits during $50 lap dances at Flashdancer!” Or my favorite “35 t-shirts for $10!” Cuz who DOESN’T need 35 t-shirts that say “I heart NY”?
Kelly and I currently spend $900 EACH on our apartment. Two bedrooms for $1800 and it’s the size of a huge walk in closet. It’s not like we are going to spend less money on our apartment, but we definitely would like some more space and a more tolerable neighborhood. While it was cool to spend a year in the heart of the greatest city in the world, I think she and I are both itching to get the fuck out.
So next time you see a picture of Times Square, stop and think how cool it is that Joe lives there and how fortunate you are for not.
Have great weekends.
I’ll give Rita love from all of you.
